Interpret My Synaptic Wavelengths

So it has been over 3 months since my last blog. For those of you whose blog I used to read, my apologies, for I have forsaken the blogspot-- as I am sure you all have deserted reading mine. However this blog site has been mainly used as catharsis rather than anything else-- as I am sure is the reason most people have blog sites.

Someone dear to me will be leaving me soon. He's headed for Saudi Arabia. Yeah...I know...

And as I expected, I have been "acting out" so to say, in order to alleviate my burdened, guilt-ridden self. The guilt is that I have had a good life thus far. I have been really, truly blessed. Do you ever have the feeling that your life, at any given moment, will just come crashing down right before your eyes-- bc you figure no one's luck is that good? This is how I am interpreting my life now a days-- that God has this big trial and tribulation for me bc He has blessed me so much and now, in this great period of transition and change, my number's up.

Perhaps I am a little hypersensitive bc of the locale-- would you want to be in the Middle East now? And I have created all sorts of scenarios that have been imprinted into my mind thanks to the likes of CNN and FoxNews. My mind is weak; I watch too much television.

This is a period of change and transition. And that is what I should take it as: take it in stride. I trust Him as I fear Him. So I will move on and live day by day rather than in futuristic daydreams that haunt me when I'm idle.

Such is life.

Quote of the evening: "Boy, you're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time." ~Sir Paul McCartney

"Paranoia, Paranoia...

everybody's coming to get me." Not really, but as I have gotten older, I have developed a few phobias-- and I honestly do not know how or where they came from.

Phobia #1: Fear of walking by cars or being inside buildings that are going to blow up. Now Scott believes this stems from all the harrowing news going on in the Middle East, but I really don't think that's it. Perhaps it is because I find myself being so blessed and that I am seriously not worthy of it all and that at any moment I could be taken away from it. And that moment could come as I walk by a car or as I quietly sit on Scott's couch watching "Top Chef." Because that fear often comes when I'm in Scott's apartment...for some reason. His apartment makes lots of different noises...

Phobia #2: Fear of falling on concrete and knocking my teeth out. This one's just silly. It often comes when I'm walking up or down Scott's steps because they're made of cobblestone and they look really really hard.

Phobia #3: Fear of walking out to my car in the middle of the night and getting attacked. This phobia often occurs when I'm leaving Scott's apartment real late, and it used to effect me when I would walk out to my car parked under my own car park.

Now you might have noticed that all of these phobias have Scott's apartment involved in the equation. Erego I have decided that Country Club Villas is cursed and was constructed on top of an Indian burial ground--and they're pissed. Therefore, they are slowly making me crazy because they feel that my pseudo Native-Americaness can relate to this plight...some..how.

Yeah...I don't know, either.

Movie You Should Watch: The Squid and The Whale

Focus...

...is something I unashamedly seem to have lost. I wouldn't call it "senioritis" perse, however the fact that I will technically be done with classes in 2 weeks has left me wanting to celebrate 2 weeks too soon. I will be starting a preceptorship, which is basically working for no pay, but supposedly it is so that I can "learn" skills and stuff that nurses have to deal with on the floor.

On the bright side, I have a job! I am the sole resident on the Medical-ICU unit at Parkland Hospital in Dallas, TX. It will be 4 months of hell, but I think will be well worth the struggle.

On a not so bright note, I don't know how much I'm going to like critical care nursing. I think I'm going to like it, but haven't had enough experience to know. I only went into that type of nursing because I want to become a nurse anesthetist--erego I HAVE to do critical care. Which is sad-- to choose something mostly because you HAVE to and not necessarily WANT to.

There are avenues of nursing I really do love: caring for people, making a difference in people's lives (unless you kill them), knowing beneficial things about the human body that others are not particularly aware of. And I love teaching those sort of things to others! I love teaching Scott about hypospadias, or explaining a surgical procedure to my parents. Hmm...

Anyways, for those of you who are about to graduate and are 100% satisfied with your chosen field, I commend you. For those of you, like me, who is on the brink of seeing the ramifications of your life's coin toss, I commend you as well. And for those of you who have absolutely no idea what you are going to do with that business management degree... I offer you the movie Office Space, and hope you will find some comfort/inspiration there.

Here's to the real world and to what may come.

Now back to the test that I have not even started studying for.

Quote du jour: You just have to walk...away. Just walk away, Kim. ~ my funny friend Jo Dispo and her knowledge of the pains I go through when under the spell of celebreality TV on VH1.

Karma...

...not only is it in the name of my blog, but it's something I seriously believe in.

I feel that the past couple of weeks have been a result of my misdoings that I am now sorely, dearly, irrevocably paying for. Funny, because although karma has been the name of my game, it was also the main theme in tonight's episode of Grey's Anatomy. Which is like heroin in the veins--Grey's Anatomy is. If the two J's happen to be reading this, they know EXACTLY what I am talking about...

Is it un-Christian to believe in karma (besides the fact that it's a Hindu/Buddhist ideology)? It's not exactly a subheading in the book of St. Matthew or anything... and all things come from God, etc, etc. So therefore I have decided karma is God's way of stickin' it back to us, bypassing our meager attempts of attrition or true repentance, erego allowing us to truly learn our lessons in life.

Karma's timing is too perfect to be incidental coincidences. Hindus and Buddhists obviously noticed this fact as well, hence the development of the very idea of karma.

As my late, great, dear friend John Lennon said, Instant karma's gonna get you. Gonna knock you right on the head. You better get yourself together. Pretty soon you're gonna be dead.

Ain't that the truth?

Five Albums That You, the viewer, Should Own

In no particular order:

1) Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles
Songs you should check out:
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
Within You Without You
When I'm Sixty-Four
A Day In The Life

2) Tuesday Night Breakfast Club by Sheryl Crow
Songs you should check out:
Run Baby Run
Leaving Las Vegas
Strong Enough
I Shall Believe

3) Moondance by Van Morrison
Songs you should check out:
And It Stoned Me
Moondance
Caravan
Brand New Day

4) Rumours by Fleetwood Mac
Songs you should check out:
Second Hand News
Dreams
Never Going Back Again
Songbird

5) Parachutes by Coldplay
Songs you should check out:
Shiver
Sparks
Yellow
Parachutes

In all actuality, these albums should be played in their entirety. I'm merely highlighting songs that one may want to, ya know, "download" from a source such as "Kazaa" or "Limewire." Or if you're, ya know, honest er whatever...like MB...you can procure them off iTunes.

Enjoy.

For Kenneth...

aka Ryan, but I like his middle name better. I'll have you know that I wrote a very lengthy blog with volumes of musical knowledge that all went away d/t Scott's computer getting pissed at me. It did it to me yesterday, therefore I feel that there is an unspoken vendetta this Sony Vaio has for me.

I'm watching a TV program teaching me all about soil. Let me share with you all that I've learned thus far:

Soil is made from rock that has been both chemically and physically weathered (mostly chemical). Water seeps through rock changing its chemical composition and breaking it down. The sediments are sand. Sand is the primary component of soil, which also comprises of silt and clay. Climate is the main factor in how quickly soil is made. The type and age of rock will determine the type of soil you will get.

Bill Nye ain't got sh*t on me.

Quote of the day: "Well that sounds like a terd in the punch bowl," ~ Mrs. VanCleave in reference to unfortunate situations.

Thought of the evening: So if Adam and Eve were the first beings created, yet scientists believe we derive from apes... were Adam and Eve neanderthals? I feel it's a valid question.

How quirky are you?

Seriously. Have you ever sat and thought of things that you find "normal," and then strangely come to find that they aren't...quite...normal? To illustrate:

~Brushing my teeth in the shower~
How does this not make sense? Two birds with one stone, I say.

~Peeling my toe-nails. And then smelling them...~
I equate this to people who pick the stuff out of their bellybutton and then smell it. And people will admit this, just ask. MB is afraid to walk around our house bare-footed...

~Intentionally ignore all phone calls when watching any of the following: Family Guy, Law & Order SVU, Seinfeld, or Everybody Loves Raymond, even if they're episodes I've already seen~
Don't deny it...you do it too.

Anyways, you get the picture.

Quote of the night: "It was more like a dry heave, set to music." ~ George Costanza~