instant karma's gonna get you

Interpret My Synaptic Wavelengths

2006-08-27T21:49:00.000-05:00

So it has been over 3 months since my last blog. For those of you whose blog I used to read, my apologies, for I have forsaken the blogspot-- as I am sure you all have deserted reading mine. However this blog site has been mainly used as catharsis rather than anything else-- as I am sure is the reason most people have blog sites.

Someone dear to me will be leaving me soon. He's headed for Saudi Arabia. Yeah...I know...

And as I expected, I have been "acting out" so to say, in order to alleviate my burdened, guilt-ridden self. The guilt is that I have had a good life thus far. I have been really, truly blessed. Do you ever have the feeling that your life, at any given moment, will just come crashing down right before your eyes-- bc you figure no one's luck is that good? This is how I am interpreting my life now a days-- that God has this big trial and tribulation for me bc He has blessed me so much and now, in this great period of transition and change, my number's up.

Perhaps I am a little hypersensitive bc of the locale-- would you want to be in the Middle East now? And I have created all sorts of scenarios that have been imprinted into my mind thanks to the likes of CNN and FoxNews. My mind is weak; I watch too much television.

This is a period of change and transition. And that is what I should take it as: take it in stride. I trust Him as I fear Him. So I will move on and live day by day rather than in futuristic daydreams that haunt me when I'm idle.

Such is life.

Quote of the evening: "Boy, you're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time." ~Sir Paul McCartney

"Paranoia, Paranoia...

2006-04-27T16:03:00.000-05:00

everybody's coming to get me." Not really, but as I have gotten older, I have developed a few phobias-- and I honestly do not know how or where they came from.

Phobia #1: Fear of walking by cars or being inside buildings that are going to blow up. Now Scott believes this stems from all the harrowing news going on in the Middle East, but I really don't think that's it. Perhaps it is because I find myself being so blessed and that I am seriously not worthy of it all and that at any moment I could be taken away from it. And that moment could come as I walk by a car or as I quietly sit on Scott's couch watching "Top Chef." Because that fear often comes when I'm in Scott's apartment...for some reason. His apartment makes lots of different noises...

Phobia #2: Fear of falling on concrete and knocking my teeth out. This one's just silly. It often comes when I'm walking up or down Scott's steps because they're made of cobblestone and they look really really hard.

Phobia #3: Fear of walking out to my car in the middle of the night and getting attacked. This phobia often occurs when I'm leaving Scott's apartment real late, and it used to effect me when I would walk out to my car parked under my own car park.

Now you might have noticed that all of these phobias have Scott's apartment involved in the equation. Erego I have decided that Country Club Villas is cursed and was constructed on top of an Indian burial ground--and they're pissed. Therefore, they are slowly making me crazy because they feel that my pseudo Native-Americaness can relate to this plight...some..how.

Yeah...I don't know, either.

Movie You Should Watch: The Squid and The Whale

Focus...

2006-03-25T12:48:00.000-06:00

...is something I unashamedly seem to have lost. I wouldn't call it "senioritis" perse, however the fact that I will technically be done with classes in 2 weeks has left me wanting to celebrate 2 weeks too soon. I will be starting a preceptorship, which is basically working for no pay, but supposedly it is so that I can "learn" skills and stuff that nurses have to deal with on the floor.

On the bright side, I have a job! I am the sole resident on the Medical-ICU unit at Parkland Hospital in Dallas, TX. It will be 4 months of hell, but I think will be well worth the struggle.

On a not so bright note, I don't know how much I'm going to like critical care nursing. I think I'm going to like it, but haven't had enough experience to know. I only went into that type of nursing because I want to become a nurse anesthetist--erego I HAVE to do critical care. Which is sad-- to choose something mostly because you HAVE to and not necessarily WANT to.

There are avenues of nursing I really do love: caring for people, making a difference in people's lives (unless you kill them), knowing beneficial things about the human body that others are not particularly aware of. And I love teaching those sort of things to others! I love teaching Scott about hypospadias, or explaining a surgical procedure to my parents. Hmm...

Anyways, for those of you who are about to graduate and are 100% satisfied with your chosen field, I commend you. For those of you, like me, who is on the brink of seeing the ramifications of your life's coin toss, I commend you as well. And for those of you who have absolutely no idea what you are going to do with that business management degree... I offer you the movie Office Space, and hope you will find some comfort/inspiration there.

Here's to the real world and to what may come.

Now back to the test that I have not even started studying for.

Quote du jour: You just have to walk...away. Just walk away, Kim. ~ my funny friend Jo Dispo and her knowledge of the pains I go through when under the spell of celebreality TV on VH1.

Karma...

2006-02-26T23:50:00.000-06:00

...not only is it in the name of my blog, but it's something I seriously believe in.

I feel that the past couple of weeks have been a result of my misdoings that I am now sorely, dearly, irrevocably paying for. Funny, because although karma has been the name of my game, it was also the main theme in tonight's episode of Grey's Anatomy. Which is like heroin in the veins--Grey's Anatomy is. If the two J's happen to be reading this, they know EXACTLY what I am talking about...

Is it un-Christian to believe in karma (besides the fact that it's a Hindu/Buddhist ideology)? It's not exactly a subheading in the book of St. Matthew or anything... and all things come from God, etc, etc. So therefore I have decided karma is God's way of stickin' it back to us, bypassing our meager attempts of attrition or true repentance, erego allowing us to truly learn our lessons in life.

Karma's timing is too perfect to be incidental coincidences. Hindus and Buddhists obviously noticed this fact as well, hence the development of the very idea of karma.

As my late, great, dear friend John Lennon said, Instant karma's gonna get you. Gonna knock you right on the head. You better get yourself together. Pretty soon you're gonna be dead.

Ain't that the truth?

Five Albums That You, the viewer, Should Own

2006-01-31T18:59:00.000-06:00

In no particular order:

1) Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles
Songs you should check out:
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
Within You Without You
When I'm Sixty-Four
A Day In The Life

2) Tuesday Night Breakfast Club by Sheryl Crow
Songs you should check out:
Run Baby Run
Leaving Las Vegas
Strong Enough
I Shall Believe

3) Moondance by Van Morrison
Songs you should check out:
And It Stoned Me
Moondance
Caravan
Brand New Day

4) Rumours by Fleetwood Mac
Songs you should check out:
Second Hand News
Dreams
Never Going Back Again
Songbird

5) Parachutes by Coldplay
Songs you should check out:
Shiver
Sparks
Yellow
Parachutes

In all actuality, these albums should be played in their entirety. I'm merely highlighting songs that one may want to, ya know, "download" from a source such as "Kazaa" or "Limewire." Or if you're, ya know, honest er whatever...like MB...you can procure them off iTunes.

Enjoy.

For Kenneth...

2006-01-18T21:21:00.000-06:00

aka Ryan, but I like his middle name better. I'll have you know that I wrote a very lengthy blog with volumes of musical knowledge that all went away d/t Scott's computer getting pissed at me. It did it to me yesterday, therefore I feel that there is an unspoken vendetta this Sony Vaio has for me.

I'm watching a TV program teaching me all about soil. Let me share with you all that I've learned thus far:

Soil is made from rock that has been both chemically and physically weathered (mostly chemical). Water seeps through rock changing its chemical composition and breaking it down. The sediments are sand. Sand is the primary component of soil, which also comprises of silt and clay. Climate is the main factor in how quickly soil is made. The type and age of rock will determine the type of soil you will get.

Bill Nye ain't got sh*t on me.

Quote of the day: "Well that sounds like a terd in the punch bowl," ~ Mrs. VanCleave in reference to unfortunate situations.

Thought of the evening: So if Adam and Eve were the first beings created, yet scientists believe we derive from apes... were Adam and Eve neanderthals? I feel it's a valid question.

How quirky are you?

2005-11-09T22:29:00.000-06:00

Seriously. Have you ever sat and thought of things that you find "normal," and then strangely come to find that they aren't...quite...normal? To illustrate:

~Brushing my teeth in the shower~
How does this not make sense? Two birds with one stone, I say.

~Peeling my toe-nails. And then smelling them...~
I equate this to people who pick the stuff out of their bellybutton and then smell it. And people will admit this, just ask. MB is afraid to walk around our house bare-footed...

~Intentionally ignore all phone calls when watching any of the following: Family Guy, Law & Order SVU, Seinfeld, or Everybody Loves Raymond, even if they're episodes I've already seen~
Don't deny it...you do it too.

Anyways, you get the picture.

Quote of the night: "It was more like a dry heave, set to music." ~ George Costanza~

2005-10-10T00:20:00.000-05:00

Look at this picture. Familiar? That's right...it's Chris Noth...aka Mr. Big, Carrie's frustratingly debonair on/off again boyfriend. I put his picture on here bc I believe Chris Noth is the love child of DEAN MARTIN and RAQUEL WELCH. If you don't believe me, find a picture of Dino and one of Ms. Welch and seriously try to scrunch their features together. Uncanny, right?

Note for the evening: Drinking water from crystal is sublime.

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk...

2005-10-01T21:53:00.000-05:00

these are just a couple of Rufus Wainwright’s cravings. Everything he seems to like is just a little bit stronger, a little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for him. I have now decided that this song will be the “song of my 20s.” I was listening to it as if I were hearing it for the first time on my iPod as I was walking around campus. The song progresses through some of his quirky addictions, like eating a whole bag of jellybeans “in just one sitting.” But of course, like all good songs, it goes a bit deeper—into relationships and how they can be just as addictive and how the world isn’t just there to be taken advantage of. It’s a sort of pseudo-hysteria and self-realization he puts himself through, and somehow it resonated with exactly how I guess I have been feeling. On a superficial note, I can definitely eat a bag of potato chips all in one sitting, I like to smoke when I drink, and “then are those other things which for several reasons we won’t mention.” And although you know these things are bad for you, you do them anyway, unregrettably if maybe a bit apologetically. It’s a coming to terms with who you are and accepting your imperfections to make the best of them. That’s not to dismiss self-betterment, because I am definitely all for that and I believe in it. But there are just some things…

“So please be kind if I’m a mess.”

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words

2005-09-07T23:42:00.000-05:00

This is a picture my friend BIC drew the week before I was to have surgery. I thought it was really funny, however I wasn't too keen in being the ANGEL floating up above.

I just realized that I could put pictures on my blog, so that's exactly what I'm going to be doing from now on, and then write something accordingly.

The story tonight will be an excerpt from "Tales of My Senior Year Hell," written and narrated by Me.

It was a moderately temperate night in April. April Madness, my high school's excuse for an evening long drunk-fest, was hip-happening. I was dressed as a cross between a Native American and a hippie, if there ever was such a thing...

After the "dance," we wound up at this girl's house who was having a SLAMMIN' party. And by SLAMMIN', I mean everyone at it was SLAMMED. Including me. Who knew super-sized Taco Bell cups could hold so much liquor? I'm sure I did at one point.

Things that occurred that evening: 1) midnight toking, 2) totally hit on a friend who was two grades BELOW me--I'm talkin like BEGGED him to kiss me. He didn't, 3) I think I passed out in the driveway? 4) escorted home by my friend Allison...in my own car, 5) proceeded to where Neil was--bc at the time he seemed to be the only person I could think of that could take care of me in the state I was, 6) finally got to Neil and VOMITED right in front of him, 7) Mom called, 8) BIC lied for me, 9) yeah he DEFINITELY got me in MORE trouble, 10) driven home by Neil and BIC in MY car, 11) vomited all along an unassuming street, where a trail of my vomit was left behind. Signifying--one hell of a night.

Needless to say, Mom went out looking for me; Neil and BIC drove into my garage, tossed my keys into my lap as my head was leaving an imprint on my glass window, and said that they loved me but that they had to go. They literally jumped out of my car and left me there: high and dry--both figuratively and literally.

The moral of this story is: You're never too old to get a beating from your Mommy. Never.

Ipso Facto...

2005-09-07T00:23:00.000-05:00

is a term I've always wanted to use in the middle of a sentence. I might have used it before... but I said it real fast for fear of coming off pretentious. Which I used to not mind...sounding pretentious.

I'm seeing The Exorcism of Emily Rose this weekend with my friend(s). Not sure if some of the others are going (J--sorry forgot your pseudonym), but Breeden better not let me down...hahah...seriously.

Ate at Copper Creek tonight. Had the salmon. It's shnazzy and pretty expensive, erego the next time I go there will be with Scotty Mac. Did I mention he was in Scotland? Because he is. And I miss him.

The six-week stent is over! I am corset free--thank goodness bc I was getting really tired accessorizing accordingly... My back doesn't feel 110%, but it's at about 80%--which is better than what it used to be.

Mindless blogs by me bore me.

Thought of the evening: Cowboy Bebop is THE BEST anime...ever.

In Progress...

2005-08-20T00:36:00.000-05:00

...my capstone paper! Yeah...I totally started it. Three paragraphs...but it has begun.

Being Peer Group Leader for the nursing group during Welcome Week reminded me of how much I miss ACU sometimes. Just singing the songs that I haven't sung in a whole year sometimes brings chills and slight tears to my eyes. Being away from ACU has also reminded me of how distant I have been with God; how I've totally taken Him for granted and yet he still blesses me every day.

Oh, and thank you Michael for correcting me. The proper changes have been made.

I'm not feeling particularly inspired right now. It could be because I took some pain medicine-- and I might have an addiction at this point. But a safe addiction...I only take it at night...to take the edge off life...

Yeah, I've got jokes.

Quote of the PM: Who wants to have some fun?! Kramer

Life Isn't So Bad...

2005-08-13T18:14:00.000-05:00

when you get an iPod mini from your horrible boyfriend who left you alone the night before. Wow--I really need to get mad at him more often. Ronald says that if I go on at this rate, I could get a laptop outta this relationship! And for the record he's not horrible--at all. I'm just a brat.

Quote de jour: Honey, I haven't been a virgin for a long time, from my same-sex liking friend CB in response to my devirginizing comment on his wall when he joined thefacebook.

The Pathetic-ness of Idle-ness

2005-08-13T01:57:00.000-05:00

So I'm writing on my blog tonight, not because I have something to say, perse...but rather because it's 2 AM, my boyfriend is out partying it up, and I'm watching TBS "Too Funny To Sleep"--the equivalent of Adult Swim on Friday night. I could start writing my paper for my Honors Capstone... but frankly, I just can't bring myself to start it. I don't know where to begin. I feel like I'm losing my intellectual edge-- I choose gossip and fashion mags over legit literature, I watch TV all day versus actually reading any sort of literature, and I obsess over when my boyfriend will get home so that he can come to my house and entertain me. Yes--it's true-- I have become "that girl."

"That girl" is the girlfriend who bitches at her boyfriend for breathing. "That girl" is the girl who doesn't have anything to say because she's too busy obsessing over whether or not her ass looks large in that skirt. "That girl" watches reality television--and likes it.

I haven't fallen that far over the edge. I "dabble" in reality TV. My ass is big; no need for obsession. But I have become ridiculously co-dependent--and I hate it. In my defense, though, I feel my vulnerability stems from the unfortunate-ness of having back surgery at age 21. I have to wear a corset for 6 weeks (and not the sexy kind), I get tired easily, and I can't sit for any more than 2 hours without reaching for a Lortab. It sucks! It really does--total cramp in my social style. So when my boyfriend wants to go grab a couple...hundred...drinks with his posse, of course I'm going to be mad at him!

He works all day long while I'm stuck at home--doing absolutely nothing. I used to be busy, too! I used to be important! And although things will start rolling for me here within this coming week-- he and I will have schedules that will collide, and so I justify my aggravation to this: we won't see each other much anymore when I have grown accustomed to having him around most of the time.

I have become the stereotypical girlfriend. I want to be with my boyfriend 24-7...8 if I could! And that scares me...

Thought of the morning: Whatever happened to the Barenaked Ladies?

Finally a band I can listen to when I'm 50...

2005-06-20T03:48:00.000-05:00

Coldplay. Wow. I have always been intrigued by this band-- I would always listen to them here and there but never became die-hard enough to actually buy a bloody CD. But having a boyfriend from the UK changed things, seeing as he owns all of their albums making it easier for me to actually sit myself down and listen to them straight thru. Chris Martin may be one of the most unassuming, unpretentious frontmen of our generation of music. He's poetic, talented, ruggedly cute...the next Bono? This is the most common parallel--Coldplay the new U2-- however there is one vital aspect of Chris Martin that sets him apart from the illustrious, opinionated Bono: he doesn't bug the living crap outta me.

I love U2's music--hooray for Bono and his work towards the betterment of mankind. However I have never seen one man milk his stardom for what it's worth in the efforts to telecast his platform when it comes to politics, world hunger, etc. I'm all for stopping world hunger. I even signed the One petition they've got going around (only to be harassed by numerous prototypical letters and messages sent to me by "Brad Pitt" and "Salma Hayek"). This is my reward for joining the fight against poverty and world peace? No, thank you, just send me the nifty rubber bracelet and we'll be square. I find it admirable (to a point) that celebrities have all of a sudden jumped on the bandwagon to better the world, even though they've been making millions for longer than, I'm sure, they've actually cared. With friends like the UN, Bono has unashamedly deemed himself as the prophet and founding father of celebrity activism.

However, in the shadow of the media storm is Chris Martin, who has quietly raged against the machine in his own ways--a t-shirt here and there and perhaps a symbol of some sort drawn on him. I had a friend see U2 in concert; he told me that the whole time Bono was on the stage giving one politically/UN-driven/anti-Bush establishment speech after the next. No thanks, Bono, I came to mindlessly listen to Sunday Bloody Sunday with a lighter in my hand as I sway back and forth--not actually have to think about what you based the song on--or for that matter--how many women were raped and murdered in Cambodia over the years. Am I being insensitive? Before you answer that-- tell me what you really paid that $150 for---to watch an awesome band play their equally awesome music, or to get a cultural commentary you could've gotten yourself on the CNN website within the confines of your home--for free.

I won't expect a politico on the Smirnoff Arena stage in September. I won't see a man shouting at the top of his lungs about how we all need to donate to UNICEF. I will see a guy, at the piano...or hopping on stage....singing lyrics that he's written with thought and care. A man who doesn't have to yell, bc people will listen regardless. I will be. And I'll be right there with the lighter in my hand as I hear The Scientist blaring thru the loudspeakers.

Thought of the evening: Buy X&Y and listen to Fix You on repeat.

Kimboard's Top 5

2005-06-01T23:01:00.000-05:00

So I was driving home this weekend-- singing to the radio, and I forced myself to narrow down my top 5 favorite songs OF ALL TIME.

Now this is really hard for me...I mean REALLY hard. I consider myself a collector of sorts--- of good music. Good, is indeed, a relative term. However I believe I am and should be the voice for all when it comes to ones' taste in music.

In this order:

1) Hotel California by The Eagles: This song just rocks. It's best when played at night, driving down a dark stretch of interstate or highway-- but it's also the best damn sing-a-long song ever. Freshman year, Claudia and myself would take turns singing one line from the song until we went through the whole entire song. We are both die-hard Eagles fans--amazing in itself to find someone who loves and cherishes a band older than yourself--and we hope to see them in concert together...soon, before one of them dies on us.

2) I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For by U2: This particular song became my anthem for my sr year in high school, and up into my first two years of college. The lyrics just rang so true for how I felt at that point in my life: lost, confused, angry, restless. And soft rock radio stations play the hell outta it-- I believe it is their favorite U2 song--yet I'll still listen to it and sing as if I were that senior in high school-- waiting for life to happen.

3) Contemplation Rose by Van Morrison: Van Morrison is one of my all time fave artists--period. I just informed Claudia I would probably sell a kidney--or at least consider selling one-- on the black market to see him in concert. I would be more apt to sell one if he would perform at my wedding. Contemplation Rose if off the Philosopher's Stone. The melody is bluesy in quality but has this dusky resonance in the way Van sings it that could put one to sleep. It's a great song to play when you're at home...alone. But it has this depth to it where one could easily make out with it playing in the background. Note to self...

4) For What It's Worth by Buffalo Springfield: You always know when this song is about to begin. Its beginning beat is as recognizable as any Beatles or Rolling Stones song. Although I can't necessarily EMPATHIZE with the lyrics (however I do think I was supposed to be a teenager in the 70s), it speaks of a time that led to revolutionary change. Stephen Stills is a prophet, commentating on the social climate: Vietnam, civil rights, etc. Rock music really doesn't get enough credit--half of my history learned was via rock n roll music from the 1970s.

5) Tempted by Squeeze: Don't ask me how this one got on my top 5-- all I know is that I have this one cd: "8:55 AM"-- which is full of great stuff, but I would often just put it in to listen to track 08-- this song. I honestly don't even really know what the song means-- I think the girl cheated on him, or he cheated on her-- someone did someone wrong, but it has such a great beat with simple enough lyrics-- I can't deny it the number 5 spot for being vague to myself. The number of times I've played speaks for itself, thus allowing it to capture the number 5 spot of my top 5 songs of all time.

Honorable Mention(s):

Only The Good Die Young by Billy Joel: I feel that this song represents how every 20-something year old feels-- you feel like you're going to live forever and that you'll be damned if you end up like Grandma at the nursing home. As my favorite line goes, "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints," Mr. Joel leads the rebel cry of how much fun it is to be a bit naughty now and again. Its upbeat tempo will have you singing along-- or unconsciously, tapping your feet. A great all-around song.

She Came In Through The Bathroom Window by The Beatles: This is off my favorite Beatles album, Abbey Road. It has this smooth sound-- and is based on a pretty funny story-- about crazy fans back in the Beatles hey-day. It's short, and is often recognized as one of the first songs of the string of lil diddies that follow, but I like it as much as any of the other Beatles' priceless gems.

Surprisingly only two of my all times faves, The Eagles and Van Morrison, made my top 5 fave song list. That's not to discount the Rumours album by Fleetwood Mac, or Abbey Road by the Beatles-- all of those songs are just equally classic, and are often albums I listen to in full rather than on a song to song basis.

Music is a passion-- and should be appreciated in the fullest. Even if you do like Hilary Duff-- I wouldn't hold it against you. To each their own-- reasons that no one but yourself can fully understand or fathom.

Quote of the evening: I lied-- I would totally hold it against you.

Smokin'...

2005-04-17T21:28:00.000-05:00

...is what I've been doing. I had been cigarette-free for awhile, but last weekend I decided I was tired of my occasional black n mild (the cigarette for ghetto fabulous people ONLY), and bought a pack of Marlboro Lights (Carrie smokes Marlb. Lights!). But seriously, not the reason I bought them. Anywho-- it's taken me a little over a week to finish my pack. And I'm just inhaling the cancer sticks for no reason! It eases my stress just a bit, until the after effect hits me and my throat feels a little raw, or I'll have this annoying non-productive cough (nursing term). Anyways, I think I want to get them all outta the way so that I won't smoke during the week, so my skin can be flawless for FORMAL!

And the shopping bug has def left my system. Claudia, "Marley" and I went to Dallas-- spent too much money (at least I did), and had the best-damn salad yet! And if that wasn't bad enough... I spent even MORE money when I went shopping again with Claudia and her boyfriend, "Clark" in Abilene! I am not looking forward to my parents checking out the credit card bill... it's actually making me sick thinking about it. Although I can't decide if it's the overload on nicotine or that that is actually making me sick to my stomach. Fact: Nicotine increases gastric secretions. Fact: I will get my ass chewed like food when my parents see the credit card bill. You decide.

Alright-- 30 minutes til Adult Swim, and trust me, Sunday nights you don't wanna miss!

Thought of the evening: Buffet City is one-helluva buffet. And mark it: on this day my hair was GOOD-- like body-wave good. Alriiiiiiight (Quagmire).

Rush Alpha Kai Omega!

2005-04-13T22:44:00.000-05:00

So somehow, every time I make it to a club meeting, a get bamboozled into things I never thought I would end up doing. Not that I think I am above being active in my social club-- bc I'm not. However, I have a Mental Health exam on FRIDAY which I KNOW I'll end up studying all night for tomorrow bc I've barely knicked it today, and won't get around to it til late tomorrow. My, how priorities so easily shift.

Anywho-- the bamboozlement came in the form of doing a skit-- no-- 2 skits, for our rush. One is a parody of Whose Line Is It Anyways (myself, JB, and Cags creation), and the other is "Kai-O Idol" in which I only agreed to do bc I get to be "Simeana" (Simon). Oh how I love to be catty and judgemental!

Hopefully, if all goes as planned-- "Claudia" and I will be going to Dallas on Friday to S-H-O-P! We're going to do it up right-- my shopping itch is soon fading; I believe this will be the final flare up of it! I'm using the excuse of looking for stuff for formal (in particular: purple stilettos), but formal is such a trite affair. The entertainment is minimal (although I hear Swing Cats will be there) and the food is often temperate and mediocre. We had baked chicken on the bone last year! C'mon--if I wanted soul food I'd go to "The Cotton Patch" where I'd at least get some fresh bread outta the deal! Anyways--at $30 a pop-- this better be a night to f-n remember!

Thought of the evening: I'm fixin' to take you out-- and I DON'T mean dinner and a movie...

Top 3 Reasons Why Pork Rinds Are Fabulous

2005-04-12T00:09:00.000-05:00

1) They have "0" carbs
2) They're low in fat and calories (relatively)
3) Are mighty tasty with vinegar

So Sex & The City has been my drug of choice for the past couple of weeks. Perhaps it's the lack of drama in my life? or perhaps it's the fact that Carrie Bradshaw (aka SJP) looks amazing in any and EVERYthing she's in-- becoming the topical cream to this crazy shopping itch...

Anywho, "I couldn't help but wonder" about my own views on sex post-Sex. I wondered, has my moral incite regarding sex been shaken and furthermore do I really want to stay a virgin till marriage?

It has always been my idea and ideal to wait until marriage to have sex. It's what I've always been taught. What I've always believed in. But then you enter Manhattan and the world of four single gals just trying to make it in the world-- four women very much like myself and my friends with similar relationships and conversations, and I have found myself second guessing my belief system. Not that I believe it's right to sleep with random/various men...but when you find one-- one that is worth the trip... or rather... one that is THE trip...would it really be so awful? Other than the obvious medical mishaps that could occur-- and the emotional repercussions, I have come to the conclusion that life is very short. And in the case of dear Charlotte York, it IS possible to fall in love---MADLY in love, and not have it be strong enough to forego issues regarding sex. Marriage should happen one time and be forever (not that I condemn divorcees); I don't have time to make mistakes!

But then I take a step back. I take a step back and ask myself, Are you really basing life lessons on a hit-now-syndicated-TV show? I know myself enough to know that my life isn't Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, or Charlotte's. I also know that God has something in store for me, and that he puts these secular speed bumps in my way to catch me off guard-- catch me at my most vulnerable time (1 year, I say, 1 year!).

However... Dr. Rodgers (from Patty Hanks Shelton School of Nursing) gave me the go-ahead on mutual masturbation... Giggity Giggity

Sex and I may not see eye to eye when it comes down to it-- but damn-it if they don't have some great fashion. What I will buy with my first legit, big-girl paycheck: a pair of Manolo Blahniks--wholesale. Thank you, Carrie Bradshaw.

Thought of the evening: Roger Smith can give me a Big O anytime!

Oh the places you will go...

2005-04-09T20:28:00.000-05:00

... such as the nursing home-- which is where I work-- graveyard shift even, which sounds ULTRA crappy, but graveyard shift is actually the best shift to work at a home. I haven't gotten any extra sleep though...so we shall see how great tonight's gonna be for me. Today I discovered the best combination in the world! Cigarettes and sno-cones-- not to be mistaken for that wonderful Rufus Wainwright song, Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk. Although I don't think I'd care much for that combo. Founder's Day in Abilene is maybe the WORST local holiday ever. "I hope there was more to do when they founded the frikkin city," quotes my friend "Claudia." I so agree, Claud.

Thought of the evening: Nothing is sweeter than sitting at home with your best gal pals watching Sex & The City and reading fashion mags (InStyle in particular). Nothing, I say.

Thursday Night/Friday Morning

2005-04-08T00:07:00.000-05:00

I had written a fairly lengthy blog--which for some reason WOULD NOT PUBLISH! What kind of bullsnot is that? Big bullsnot is what kind that is.

Anways-- the theme was "restlessness" which I will have to broach another time, when I'm feeling my "feelings." In fact, maybe instant karma will get me after 3-4 glasses of Merlot or Pinot Noir-- or my favorite: cheap whiskey. After that-- I'll be an open book.

I'll leave you with what the thought of the evening was: I wish I were at the Vatican.

Virgin No More...

2005-04-07T00:55:00.000-05:00

...at least to the whole blog-scene that is. So I guess I use this space for sharing my feelings-- an e-journal of sorts? I'm listening to the Scissor Sisters right now, which if you know me, is WAY out of character for me-- but then if you REALLY know me, and you know the sound of the S.S.-- you'd discover they're this crazy-eclectic group that sound like the Bee Gees, Elton John, Human League, and ...mmm..Floyd perhaps? put in a blender. "Bicycling With The Devil" is the song of the moment, although the beginning verses are quite disgusting. But I'll leave you with my favorite verse, which makes the song all worth the while for me:

I see you talking
Da*n you look good
I wish I could speak to you
But I ain't got your love